Waiting in Joyful Hope

Today is my daughter's second birthday.  Two years ago my dad held Regina just hours old.  One year ago my dad missed her first birthday celebration because he had his first chemotherapy treatment. Today he will be here in spirit. 

   
When I learned my second child was due December 24 I knew advent and Christmas 2010 would be particularly spiritually rich.   My husband and I shared the anticipation Mary and Joseph did. All the physical experiences of being pregnant, like the baby kicking and turning or me becoming very uncomfortable, reminded me of our Holy Mother.  I was offered so many unique opportunities to meditate on the coming of the Lord because of my life's situation at that time.    

This advent I was prepared for being mostly sad and distracted.  "Sorry Jesus, I don't want to 'rejoice.' Can it be lent instead? These days I'd rather look to you on the cross than as a sweet infant to be adored." It's only been a little over a month since my father died (it feels like five years already).  I wasn't expecting for this advent/Christmas to be a spiritually rich one.  But like two years ago God took my life's circumstances at the time and has shown me how to draw closer to Him by participating spiritually in the season.  Isn't that just like Him; to take our expectations and return to us gifts and graces we weren't looking for?

My dad didn't appreciate people telling him he was going to beat cancer.  He always held firm to reality.  Although some would see it differently I say he did not hold onto one ounce of pessimism; not to be confused with the reality.  Chemo would only slow the cancer from growing but it was going to keep growing anyway.  My dad was always preparing us for his eventual death by talking bluntly about it, giving us directives about accepting it.  Because of the way he communicated I knew he was preparing himself first.  Preparing himself in the exact way the Church asks us to prepare during advent.  Waiting.  Anticipating the day Jesus will come.

Immediately after my dad's final hour came I never felt so close to heaven.  My mother and I were with him encouraging him to go and he listened.  It changed my life.  Before my spirituality was focused mostly on my relationship with God who is omnipresent.  God is everywhere but when I thought about heaven, well that place seemed just a little bit removed.   Not true.  Heaven was sent to us.  Emmanuel (God is with us) came to earth to unite them.  When I think of how far the angels, saints, and my father are now it's in the next step I take.  It's as far as a single breath not miles high in the sky.

Now I wait to see him again.  Even if I live for forty more years it doesn't seem like that long and that far.  That is what advent is about.  This is why we celebrate Christmas year after year.  Our celebration isn't simply just to recognize or give tribute to Jesus being born.  We celebrate what that birth means... heaven is with us and we wait in joyful hope to take that step into his kingdom.    

It's still a sad situation and will be a hard Christmas, but I am thankful that God has shown me this new perspective.  These thoughts really deserve to be developed better in this writing, but the limits of this world have me hoping what I shared is enough for you to reflect on while I go eat cake and finish getting the house ready for 8-13 additional people staying the week.

September Baby October Baby

A few months ago when I first saw a preview on the internet for the movie "October Baby" I actually said a prayer asking God for a way to see this movie.  If I was crying during the extended trailer I knew it would be a powerful movie.  Unfortunately it was not playing in Springfield.  The closest showing was Peoria.  My husband and I value our weekends together so it wasn't likely I would say adios for a day to travel there, see the movie, and travel back.  

This past week started by my husband saying, "Oh yeah, there's a bachelor party I'm going to Saturday if that's alright."  And then my mom called, "I'd really like to see you and the kids.  You're dad's not sure how he'll be feeling so we'll decide at the end of the week if we can make it there or maybe you could come here or meet halfway."  Friday mom called, "Do you think we could meet in Peoria?"  Then it dawned on me.  My parents had some missed baby-sitting opportunities in the past because of last minute changes in our plans.  "Yes, Peoria sounds GREAT.  Do you think you can watch the kids for two hours while I go to a movie?"

So on Saturday afternoon we met up, I gave mom the car, and they went literally across the street to the Shoppes of Grand Prairie to have ice cream and play.  Dad even bought a wagon with two seats and a canopy.  When I walked up I thought the ticket guy would say, "October What?"  I thought I'd be the only one in the theater.  When I turned the corner though there was a good crowd.  By the time the movie started, people were scooting into the empty seats in between to make room for more patrons.  It was SO encouraging.  And the movie was just fantastic.  It was well casted, well written, and  not agenda driven (not to be confused with having a message).  It was just a well told and played out story that you could immerse yourself in.  It wasn't cheesy or predictable.  It was just a QUALITY screenplay.  Check out the trailer...





On Sunday the youth group I lead sponsored a talk by my friend Bonnie.  The talk was about the events of her son born a year ago September and how they have been investigated for the cause for beatification of Archbishop Fulton Sheen.  She did such a beautiful job.  Everyone there was moved and had only positive feedback (those from the Jr High PSR class up to those from other parishes).  Our deacon left afterward to go to the parish men's group already in progress and said he had to reprimand them because it was just the best talk they all should have been at.  Bonnie did a great job of expressing her faith and put into perspective how the recounting of her son's alleged miracle is a story about the generosity and love of God and His Church. 

Let us pray for the cause for canonization of Archbishop Fulton Sheen:

Heavenly Father, source of all holiness, You raise up within the Church in every age men and women who serve with heroic love and dedication. You have blessed Your Church through the life and ministry of Your faithful servant, Archbishop Fulton J Sheen. He has written and spoken well of Your Divine Son, Jesus Christ, and was a true instrument of the Holy Spirit in touching the hearts of countless people.
If it be according to Your Will, for the honor and glory of the Most Holy Trinity and for the salvation of souls, we ask You to move the Church to proclaim him a saint. We ask this prayer through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.